


if you close your eyes and want me

by dogdads



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Manipulation, Humiliation, Ice Play, Infidelity, M/M, Miscommunication, Orgasm Control, Past Relationship(s), Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 22:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12142911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogdads/pseuds/dogdads
Summary: sometimes the truth hurts more than the lies chanyeol filled his lungs up with every night as he held baekhyun close to his heart and lovingly whispered empty promises in his ears like it was baekhyun's favourite melody;inspired by sweet lies





	if you close your eyes and want me

**Author's Note:**

> i do not condone cheating/toxic relationships, nor do i support manipulation and/or lying of any sort
> 
> fic!chanyeol warning: an asshole  
> irl!chanyeol warning: a ball of sunshine & i absolutely love him

**scene 01**

_i know that you say i get mean when i'm drinking,_  
_but then again sometimes i get really sweet_  

One moment, Chanyeol has Baekhyun in his arms as he whispered how beautiful he looked with just the moonlight illuminating on his face. Another, Chanyeol is leaving their bed to stand near the window, left hip jutted out, eyebrows furrowed, a cigarette between his slender fingers.

Baekhyun can tell he's pissed as shit. It's far too obvious and Chanyeol is sometimes as clear as cut glass with his emotions. Other times, not as much.

Baekhyun is still spread obscenely on the bed; the slight throbbing at his lips and ass reminding him of how well spent and _used_ he'd been earlier. It was a good time, since Chanyeol knew just _how_ hard to grip at his cock to not let him come just yet; knew the right places to bite and tug with his open mouth, leaving scars and marks on the expanse of Baekhyun's sweet, milky skin.

Chanyeol is very territorial that way, and Baekhyun has never been more in love.

It had been a good time, but Chanyeol is still pissed. It's because he'd been in the mood for a slow fuck, keep it moving and not let Baekhyun reach his orgasm for _hours_ but Baekhyun's gone and ruined it. He always did that as though he just could not stop ruining Chanyeol's moods.

Especially the good ones.

The ones where he even has any interest towards Baekhyun at all.

Baekhyun had gotten hard too quick. He had come too quick. He got everything done with far too _quickly_ and Chanyeol just won't have it. Which is surprising, because he is _always_ up for a second round, even a third and a fourth if that was possible, but just not that night.

If Chanyeol hadn't expected it, he must have been even more ignorant than Baekhyun thinks he is. Chanyeol always used his hands fucking well, wandering about and massaging Baekhyun's trembling thighs, cradling his face in the palm of Chanyeol's warm hands as Baekhyun's mouth opened up in pretty gasps, with his head falling back and legs spreading apart. Chanyeol nipped at Baekhyun's ears like a hungry cat, grunting lowly as he would feed Baekhyun his cock, slowly. Gradually. But surely.

There's a neat thing Chanyeol especially liked to do. He'd open up Baekhyun real good with his slicked fingers, sometimes even his tongue. And then he'd push in just the head of his cock, only to remove it in just a few moments. It would be repeated, until Baekhyun's asshole is clenching hard around the head of Chanyeol's cock, until it's clamping around _pure air_ \- absolutely nothing.

Baekhyun would plead for more, already in tears - but it so happens that Chanyeol  _likes_ the tears, likes to see Baekhyun coming short of breath and ridiculously falling into pieces this easily. Chanyeol wouldn't let him have it just like that. No, he has to _work_ for it. He has to drop on his elbows, raise up his ass even higher. He will have to spread his knees more, fuck back into Chanyeol's dick all by himself, and he will have to _thank_ Chanyeol for treating him so good.

He always does, Baekhyun thinks. Whatever Chanyeol does, it's for Baekhyun's own good as well. So he doesn't care if his own cock hurts as it leaks pre-come, even when he's pitifully aching for a sweet release and just can't keep going even if he willed otherwise. He doesn't care when Chanyeol curses at him and calls him a whore, a skank, a fucking bitch.

In the end, he likes it. He finds pure enjoyment in satisfying Chanyeol, likes the trails of kisses he would receive on his jaw, his hips and forehead if he had been a good boy. For what it's worth, he hopes this feeling is mutual, because otherwise there's no need for him to feel it either.

Baekhyun feels frustrated as he notices how strained and tensed Chanyeol's back muscles seems. He must be in so much stress and just wanted to fuck it away, but Baekhyun just had to ruin it. There's a burning sensation at his throat and before he knows it, tears are running down his eyes and he's still so painfully hard.

Chanyeol won't help him get off anyway, so he starts to pathetically jerk himself off, slowly at first, cautious to not make too much noise. As he touches himself, he thinks of all those times Chanyeol has touched him here, like this, just the way he likes. How Chanyeol tends to lick his balls just because Baekhyun claimed he didn't like recieving hand jobs as much as he liked his dick sucked.

But Chanyeol's so good with his hands, so good for Baekhyun, he just might be an exception. Because there's not one time Chanyeol has touched his dick that he hadn't come in his pants like some teenage loser.

His skin is heating up as he quickens his ministrations. Finally, Chanyeol tilts his head back just in time to see Baekhyun break into a moan. It's a lovely sight - Baekhyun turned on. What is the sunset compared to the red on his chest, what are the most delicate rose petals compared to those gorgeous lips. Chanyeol keeps an eye on him like he's proud to witness Baekhyun at his most vulnerable state.

Their eyes meet and Baekhyun groans, bringing up a hand to play with one of his nipples, twisting it between his fingers, reducing it to nothing but hardened peaks. He badly needs Chanyeol's rough hands on him, around his neck, choking him real good until all he can register in his mind is just how good Chanyeol is to him.

"Oh, _baby_ ," Chanyeol says so softly that Baekhyun almost doesn't catch it. But between them both, save for Baekhyun's rugged breathing and the wind whirling in total chaos behind the locked doors, is a comfortable silence that he wants to fill with the sounds of Chanyeol's thick, hoarse voice. "Do you want to show me how good you do yourself with just your fingers?" Chanyeol crushes the cigarette in the ash tray sitting on the bedside table. Just as Baekhyun is beginning to think he's about to join him, Chanyeol flops down on the sofa in front of the bed and starts to lazily jerk himself.

Releasing a huff, Baekhyun's left hand moves down to his asshole, and winces when a mere touch creates a mild sting. He takes in a breath and starts playing with the spunk Chanyeol had loaded in before. It's still so warmly running down his thighs as he tries to push it back in with two of his fingers. He glances at Chanyeol for a quick second just to see his expression and doesn't quite understand what's even running through his head.

Annoyed still, Baekhyun inserts a third finger in himself and _twists_ it just right so that it has him gasping for air with his eyes shut and mouth agape. He needs to come. He's so close but he refuses to come without Chanyeol beside him to coax him through it. Baekhyun bats his eyes pleadingly, trying to sound as loud and needy as he can, but all Chanyeol does is stand up and leave the room.

Confusion and panic stirs through him until Chanyeol returns just a few moments later with an ice tray in his hand. Wordlessly, he sits on the foot of the bed and nudges Baekhyun's lean legs further apart. He mockingly tusks at the way Baekhyun's wrinkled asshole already quivers with anticipation.

For a while, it's just Chanyeol carefully watching Baekhyun finger himself in a quickened pace, until he decides he's had enough. Before Baekhyun can muster up enough energy to speak, Chanyeol removes Baekhyun's fingers from himself and starts to rub the cold ice cube around the sensitive area. Expectedly, his hole is puckering on its own, hungrily ready to swallow it all up. But Chanyeol would just not let Baekhyun have his way, because now he's moving the cube up to Baekhyun's dick. It's torture when he's _this_ hard, when he's this stubborn to will his boner away. He's sputtering on nonsensical words, drooling down to his chin, crying and whining at the same time as he twitches feverishly beneath the ice.

It takes a few more ice cubes and a whole ten minutes to completely wilt away his erection, just to have him even more needier than he had been before.

"That'll teach you," Chanyeol mutters, sitting back on his heels to observe how wrecked Baekhyun looked.

Baekhyun's chest heaves up, up, up and then back down heavily. His darkened eyes are waiting for Chanyeol's next move. And so it comes not long after. There's an ice cube prodding at his asshole again, but this time, he's carefully trying to push it past the tight rim. Baekhyun gasps at the unfamiliar sensation, and feels the cube sliding back out instantly.

"Please," Baekhyun whines. He can see how hard Chanyeol is, hanging so thick and heavy between his legs, looking like it could fuck Baekhyun up within minutes and he needs it right now. He wants it in his mouth, so far down his throat that he can't make a sound, let alone beg Chanyeol to fuck him until he can't walk. He needs it buried so deep in his ass that he can feel a strike of pain for _days_ to come, a physical reminder of how good Chanyeol can do him; how much power Chanyeol has over all his needs.

He could get off just to this thought.

" _Please_ ," he says again.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch," Chanyeol growls, pushing the ice cube back in with more pressure, making sure it's all in for sure before he comes up for a kiss that has Baekhyun groaning and jerking his hips up violently in hopes of any sort of friction.

"Fuck," Chanyeol grunts, allowing himself to lean back into the contact.

One moment, Chanyeol twists Baekhyun's hair and tugs his head up just so they could kiss much better. Baekhyun's legs wrap around Chanyeol's torso like he's meant to, and slowly, just so slowly, Chanyeol rocks onto Baekhyun, while their cocks create the most spectacular friction as they grind against each other. Baekhyun is about to lose his mind. It's a fucking wonder he hasnt creamed himself yet.

Another moment, Chanyeol's hand reaches between them as he tries to jerk them off together. It's too slippery and yet it burns a bit, but Baekhyun keeps making the prettiest sounds and Chanyeol just can't stop. He just can't help but mouth at the junction of Baekhyun's shoulder, all the while Baekhyun moans Chanyeol's name like a chant, a song - a magical mantra.

"Will you come now?" Chanyeol asks with his voice cracking around the words.

"If you want me to," Baekhyun holds his lover's face so they could kiss each other senseless. "Fuck, yeah," he whispers and smirks.

Chanyeol just hums, but Baekhyun can tell he's pleased. It's far too obvious and Chanyeol is sometimes as clear as cut glass with his emotions.

Other times, not as much.

"You look perfect like this," Chanyeol says with a smile that has Baekhyun mesmerized.

"Like this?"

"Like this," Chanyeol repeats gently, fully knowing how well all these sweet words with no meanings drive Baekhyun up to the edge so easily. "In my arms."

Baekhyun comes like this. With Chanyeol kissing him silly all over and his hand wrapped around Baekhyun's cock, even after he's hit his orgasm. He convulses rapidly like a convolvulus jittering in a storm in Chanyeol's hold and Chanyeol's words have never been truer.

Baekhyun switches their position so he's sitting on top with his long legs on either sides of Chanyeol. "I'll make you come," he says with so much confidence that Chanyeol lifts an eyebrow in amusement.

"Is that so?"

"I'll make you come so hard you'll regret leaving me alone, so fucking hard, just for a quick smoke. You'll hesitate to ever leave me. I'll make sure of it."

For a brief moment, something strange flashes on Chanyeol's face. Just for a moment. Something like _fear_ , but Baekhyun isn't sure if Chanyeol has ever felt that. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but then closes it. A smug smirk replaces just as soon. "Let's see you try, baby."

Baekhyun doesn't let the irritation get to him, instead licks a stripe down Chanyeol's toned stomach, somewhat tasting the bitterness of his own spill on it. He rakes his teeth lightly along Chanyeol's cock, proud when it elicits a long moan from said man. Slacking his jaw, Baekhyun lets his saliva pool over his lips and onto Chanyeol's thigh. Eager hands find their way into his hair and Baekhyun moans at the sudden control Chanyeol so easily steals from his unsuspecting hold.

Baekhyun steadies his neck as Chanyeol starts to thrust his hips up, slowly fucking Baekhyun's throat with very little warning. It's an obscene, fucking bliss to feel Chanyeol's big cock sliding down his hot throat, to have Chanyeol's nimble fingers tangled in his messy hair, tugging and pulling the strands and in return, his face harder on Chanyeol's dick. Tears are uncontrollably streaming down his face, and the only sounds in the room are the squelching of spit and Chanyeol's harsh breathing, bouncing on all four walls and right back to them.

"Your mouth, Baekhyun... _Fuck."_

Baekhyun grabs Chanyeol's strong thighs at the sound of his broken voice, enthralled that he could make Chanyeol moan in such an indecent way.

Chanyeol's grip on Baekhyun's hair begins to tighten, tugging it harder as he throws his head back, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Baekhyun pulls away, harshly gripping on Chanyeol's cock to milk out every ounce of come as he reaches his orgasm. The sticky mess first hits Baekhyun's lips, tongue and cheek. He looks up at Chanyeol's flushed face to show him the result.

With a pleased sigh, Chanyeol strokes Baekhyun's ears almost fondly. Almost as if they're in love.

"How's that?" Baekhyun purrs, nuzzling Chanyeol's cock, the little unshaven hairs tingling at his nose. He enjoys the way Chanyeol twitches when Baekhyun presses his tongue to the sensitive length in a little kiss.

"Fucking hot."

"Yeah?"

"Hell, yeah," Chanyeol whispers, running his hands on Baekhyun's shoulders. Without having to tell him, Baekhyun crawls up to him with his pink tongue sticking out his small mouth and ass in the air. Chanyeol takes it in his mouth with an amused scoff and hands reach to cup Baekhyun's ass. They kiss languidly with Baekhyun hovering above, a knee digging Chanyeol's crotch and one hand wrapped around his neck.

Chanyeol's about to leave him again. Baekhyun can tell because he's starting to push him away, but he's not ready to be left alone a second time the same night. So he grips Chanyeol's cock in his hand again. It's already too sensitive from before and it would take a lot of time to make him hard again, but Baekhyun is willing to try.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol says warningly.

" _What_?" Baekhyun widens his eyes, feigning innocence. "Don't think you can handle a second round?"

Chanyeol probably doesn't think he can, but Baekhyun doesn't care. He grabs a packet of lube with his other hand and spills its content all over Chanyeol's cock and his hand. Chanyeol winces at the cold, but soon enough, Baekhyun's hands are warming it up, nice and smooth.

Unlike Baekhyun, Chanyeol is a sucker for hand jobs. Chanyeol likes giving them and definitely recieving them. Good for Chanyeol that Baekhyun, too, is good with not just his mouth and asshole, but also with his hands.

Unpredictably, Chanyeol's cock hardens within minutes. It's curved a bit to his lift hipbone, and already leaking. Baekhyun might just lean down and lick the tip but Chanyeol has already started to shiver like a leaf in a whirlwind

"I have to -" Chanyeol grunts, face heating up. Coming a second time is painful, even for Chanyeol.

"Do it," Baekhyun challenges him."Here. All over me."

"All over you," Chanyeol repeats, squinting his eyes, as though thinking about it. His breath is laboured and his chest raises up, up, up and then back down.

Baekhyun gives him a few reassuring pats on his thigh. "Come on, baby. Wherever you want. If you want, I can even open up for you. My ass, my mouth. It's all yours."

"All mine," Chanyeol mutters, his eyes fluttering shut, a tongue licking at the seem of his bottom lip. Baekhyun moves back to sit on his knees. He can feel his nerves tingling. There's an unidentifiable rush growing at his spine and up his neck. He's just thankful he got to have Chanyeol even a little bit longer. It's rather lonely waiting until Chanyeol comes back from the bathroom. Tricky too, since sometimes he never ends up coming back, leaving Baekhyun cold in their bed, with Chanyeol's side of their bed empty.

"Come on," Baekhyun urges again, a bit impatiently this time, and Chanyeol does what he's told like a trained puppy. Baekhyun finds these rare moments endearing.

Chanyeol's come spurts out all over the sheets and himself, and it's so fucking hot that he groans deeply while doing so. It takes a while for him to slow down his quickening breaths and come down from the high. When it's over, Baekhyun's there for him, looking down at him with his face and chest all red. "Fuck, that's..."

"So much come," Chanyeol laughs. It's so brightening and Baekhyun can't help but giggle and lean in for a kiss. When he does, he can feel the warm liquid on himself now and all that does is make him ever hotter so they kiss until their come runs dry, until Chanyeol's had enough and probably pushes him away.

Now and then, Baekhyun tugs at Chanyeol's wet cock, sometimes flicking it or digging a finger into the slit and, fuck, the noises Chanyeol makes are fucking heavenly.

Chanyeol suggests cleaning up first, but Baekhyun just wants to savour this moment until it lasts. Until Chanyeol loses his mood. Because one moment, Chanyeol may be in the mood to overstimulate himself just because Baekhyun asked him to. Another, he might leave home and come back after a couple of days, smelling like all sorts of cheap beer and whores on sale.

Baekhyun thinks he's no better either.

One moment, he learns to be okay with Chanyeol's unfair habits, and other times, not as much.

"It's a good look for you," Baekhyun mumbles into Chanyeol's neck.

"Mm?"

Baekhyun traces various patterns on Chanyeol's cheek with the tip of his finger, throbbing at the hollow of his dimple. It's smooth and he loves how Chanyeol smiles and leans into the touch. "All covered in come and all sorts of filth. Look at you, looking like the dirty whore you said I was."

Chanyeol freezes almost instantly. Baekhyun can feel him stop breathing against him. His face darkens and he slaps Baekhyun's hand away from his face. Baekhyun is taken back at the sudden change in Chanyeol's demeanor - but yet not surprised.

Baekhyun has just ruined it once again. He always did that and he just could _not_ stop worsening Chanyeol's good moods. The ones where he even wants to touch Baekhyun like he means something. Grumbling to himself, Chanyeol says something about the messed up sheets and showering, and then leaves Baekhyun in the state he was afraid of being in - cold and lonely, and with Chanyeol's side of the bed empty.

It is then that Baekhyun realizes that with Chanyeol, he is constantly trapped within brass walls of a china shop. And he's dancing. One wrong move, everything is destroyed on the floor in sharp bits, prickling warm blood from his toes.

 

 

 

 

 

  **scene 02**

 _so what does it mean if i tell you to go fuck yourself_  
_or if i say that you're beautiful to me_

Baekhyun falls in love for the first time when he had barely turned 20 years old, while he had just started university where he majored in music and arts. It comes as a shock, a scary one at that, just because it was such an unfamiliar emotion for him. He's heard about the usual symptoms everyone talked about; heart palpitating at irregular speeds, getting excited to meet them, wanting to be with them. Wanting - needing more, more, more.

He feels all these just two weeks after he'd started dating Oh Sehun, a student he'd been tutoring for a little over a month then. Oh Sehun was tall, skinny and just a bit gullible enough to believe every lie Baekhyun fed him in disguise of kisses and fucks. Just his type. He's always found a great liking to fucking dumb, stupid boys who didn't know any better, right in their asses.

It must be love, because Sehun made him feel a rush of high he'd never felt before; made him feel things he had never knew he could feel by himself.

After all these years, here's what he is probably going to say to excuse his actions. Baekhyun only had his mother supporting him back home. Which meant, to get by, he had to get a job and start earning for himself as soon as possible. He was also on a scholarship, and his time management skills turned out to be horrible. In order to spend most of his time studying to ace his exams and gain some cash at the same time, there was no way he could stand behind a cash register for five hours to ring up drinks for people, or, say, rearranging books on the library shelves. Or anything much, really.

So then, he'd settled for tutoring a couple of kids, which also proved to help him in return, since teaching meant learning. But that didn't earn him as much as he'd hoped it would. And after long hours of contemplating and arguing with himself, he came up with something. Selling sex in return for money.

Well, to be fair, he didn't really meet up with that many kids. It was mostly erotic calls and suggestive text messages, and everyone knows how college kids are. They would be fine with anything so long they could beat their meat for a good fucking release.

Sometimes, it felt like Baekhyun could fall in love with everyone. Some nights, he did just that.

When Oh Sehun had come to know about this business of his, he certainly was not pleased. Not a few days later, he had broken up with Baekhyun for a hot senior who had just transferred in, leaving Baekhyun to feel nothing much afterwards. Probably bordom, now that he didn't have a dick to suck at Saturday nights as a reward after doing his homework. Otherwise, he got enough cash and he still continued to score perfect marks on assignments.

Otherwise, he got by.

He got by just fine.

Baekhyun falls in love a second time just a few weeks later, just because he was stupid, stupid, stupid. All he remembers was being shit faced from all the booze he had filled himself up with. His clothes had been unbuttoned, one shoe missing, and he was pressed hard against the cubicle door of a washroom at the local bar, a pair of red lips hovering above his. Foreign hands were wandering about, massaging Baekhyun's thighs while fucking him raw and barely prepared as his mouth opened up in loud, breathy groans that bounced on the uncleaned tiled walls and right back at him, mockingly.

The stranger hadn't bothered to clean him up nor did he offer Baekhyun any help after he'd finished. He zipped up, _thanked_ Baekhyun for being a good fuck and left, but not before slapping his already sore ass and slipping a piece of paper with a number scrawled on it in the pocket of his leather jacket, which has then already started to smell like alcohol and all sorts of unhygienic fluids.

That had been the first time he met Park Chanyeol.

Baekhyun has been, always will be, on the easily jealous side. Letting go of Oh Sehun was not difficult; letting go of the idea of Oh Sehun loving someone other than him, on the other hand, was.

During the one hour break he got between two of his classes, he had followed Oh Sehun to an empty classroom where he'd stood, looking through the glass window.

Sehun had the dirtiest lopsided smile on his face as he unbuckled his washed out blue jeans. He did it so slowly, there's so much suspense, and Baekhyun's heart raced erratically in his chest. All he had to know was how Sehun's new boyfriend fucked him. If he did it any better than Baekhyun could. If he held Sehun closer than Baekhyun did. But the guy wasn't even clearly seen from Baekhyun's angle. All he could see was Sehun spread on a table as he worked up his hardening cock that twitched beneath his dainty fingers.

He was saying something, but Baekhyun couldn't catch it. He was laughing and doing something else then, but Baekhyun saw none of that. Because one moment, Sehun's boyfriend had four thick fingers stuffed in him, twisting and turning about, pulling them out just to slam right back in. Then the other, he was fucking Sehun hard, grabbing him by the back of his neck, and then looked straight up at Baekhyun as though he'd known all along that he had been here. Like he didn't have any issue with it, didn't think for a minute how disgusting and intrusive and downright creepy it was for Baekhyun to spy on his ex-boyfriend.

The stranger's mouth was open as he panted heavily, wet tongue slightly out and glistening, and for all the years to come, Baekhyun would never forget the way he felt when they had made eye contact.

That had been the second time Baekhyun met Park Chanyeol.

Chanyeol, unlike all guys Baekhyun normally liked to fuck with, did not seem, at first glance, like the type of guy who would easily fall into Baekhyun's clutches like bees to honey, magnet to magent, but that's exactly what seemed to have happened. Not a few days after the incident with him, Chanyeol and Sehun, Baekhyun had finally found the slip of paper with Chanyeol's number and sent him a daring text, and then got an even more daring reply in return a few seconds later. Their relationship developed into something secretive, immoral, and overall, just very toxic.

However, even though Chanyeol liked to act like he's superior when it came to their emotions, it's always Chanyeol who kept coming back, pathetically begging again and again, only reminding Baekhyun just how weak Chanyeol really was. Still is.

Chanyeol broke up with Sehun officially the year Baekhyun graduated from university. He was 24, turning 25, and when Chanyeol suggested they move in together, he had kissed him on the middle of the street and said yes.

That moment, and all moments afterwards, Baekhyun was - is - stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

  **scene 03**

 _it's affection always,_  
_you're gonna see it someday_

"What's gotten to you?" Chanyeol mutters, loosening his red striped tie, evidently annoyed at the lack of reaction Baekhyun produces when Chanyeol very proudly announces the good news of his promotion. That is, good news for him. Not as much to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun merely flinches, unmoving eyes glued on the television screen which is showing some car commercial. Usually, he has no interested in cars, but he makes it look like he is. It's just for the show. It's _all_ for the show.

Baekhyun knows lots about doing the most to put on a good show. Sometimes Chanyeol likes to flex his bulky arms when he jacks himself off, or on another occasion, wear some expensive, flashy watch while fingering Baekhyun, just because he had once mentioned how hot it was. In return, Baekhyun has a habit of doing these little things for him, like waiting in uncomfortable positions for minutes just in time for Chanyeol to come home from work. Sometimes clad in sexy lingerie - leather, lace, but mostly satin - in red and black, maybe even pink. Just the way Chanyeol likes, but it doesn't even matter in the end because the pieces of clothing are always taken off him within minutes, or pushed aside uselessly. Before Baekhyun stains the expensive fabric like some bitch in heat who had no control over his orgasms.

(More often than most, he sometimes does, in fact, come untouched in his underwear, because the sensation of his rock hard dick chaffing against the soft material has all it's perks, and creating delicious friction is one of those. Chanyeol would make him _lick_ it off by himself whenever it happens. It's a reward in it's own, rather than any sort of punishment. The bitter of his semen is hot on his tongue, and swallowing himself up feels good.)

Chanyeol's had enough. He grabs the TV remote from Baekhyun's hand and switches it off. There's nothing reflecting on the screen, not even his face, not even the small smile on his face. It's pitch black.

"What?" Baekhyun snaps.

"Did you even hear what I just said?"

"I did, Chanyeol. I just chose to ignore it," Baekhyun shrugs.

He stands up from where he had been cooped up at the right side corner of their sofa and makes his way to the kitchen, where he starts to brew himself some hot coffee. Extra sugar, extra milk. By the time he's done, it looks like a cup of milk, but that's just how he likes his drinks. Sweet and milky.

He's got a sweet tooth. It helps when Chanyeol's in the mood to play loving boyfriend, and Baekhyun's willing to forget all the imperfect imbalances and lets himself take all of Chanyeol in his sweet and milky glory.

When he returns, Chanyeol is collapsed on the sofa, legs and arms crossed. His eyebrows are furrowed and knotted, like he's still in thought even in deep slumber. Like he's still pissed as shit in his half conscious state.

Baekhyun gently places his mug on the coffee table and sits cross-legged next to his boyfriend. He sighs, because letting go of bad energy in the form of air through his mouth somewhat helps.

Chanyeol is beautiful, Baekhyun thinks fondly. He looks a lot mature than how he was in college, with all that flaming red hair and jeans that are torn, not as a fashion statement, but just because he always wore the same jeans, the same black hoodie, the same intimidating aura that Baekhyun clings onto like a koala on a tree.

Now, his black hair is slicked back with tons of gel or wax or whatever that he uses that smells a bit like leather and a lot like pineapple, but if Baekhyun runs his fingers through it, it would come undone like it was waiting for Baekhyun's touch.

In a grimace, Baekhyun is reminded a lot of himself being wrecked beneath Chanyeol like it's so easy. Even if he's got walls upon walls shielding him.

There's a crazy thought cooking itself up in the darkest corner of Baekhyun's brain. He sees Chanyeol's tie and then he sees how weak and powerless Chanyeol looks right now, and for a moment, something wicked flashes dangerously in his mind and he just wants to wrap the red striped tie around Chanyeol's sweet, milky throat and deprive him of oxygen and choke him violently until blood leaks from his neck onto Baekhyun's fingers, until life seeps from his eyes like water dripping from delicate petals in the rainy monsoon.

Other times, he wants to hold Chanyeol close to his heart and whisper lovely promises in his ears like it's Chanyeol's favourite melody. Maybe this time, he would mean it and those words would not be sweet lies for just this once. And as those words would leave the tip of Baekhyun's tongue, it would feel foreign as they hit his ears. He hasn't heard many truths for him to feel familiar with it.

Maybe he wouldn't believe his own truths.

Because sometimes the truth hurts more than the lies Chanyeol filled his lungs up with every night as he held Baekhyun close to his heart and lovingly whispered empty promises in his ears like it was Baekhyun's favourite melody.

Baekhyun swallows deeply. He wraps a knitted wool blanket around Chanyeol's body and sighs again contently when Chanyeol hums pleasantly. For a while, he watches Chanyeol sleep, while wondering if Chanyeol ever watched him sleep and thought about how beautiful Baekhyun looked with his long lashes resting upon his cheeks dusted with pink.

Whether he ever looked at Baekhyun, right through his lies and façade as though he was looking through a glass window, and still thought Baekhyun was the most beautiful person to ever exist in Chanyeol's fucked up, shit hole of a world.

When Baekhyun finally goes back to his cup of milky coffee, it has turned cold and tastes bland. Just like Chanyeol when he comes back smelling too much like cheap beer and whores on sale, while still expecting Baekhyun to fuck him.

And he did. Just because he's stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

**scene 04**

_my attention for you_  
_even if it's not what you need_  

As a celebration for his promotion, Chanyeol takes Baekhyun out for a fancy dinner where they sit across each other in expensive suits that reeked of a musty cologne. Chanyeol orders food for both of them and Baekhyun picks the wine. While they eat, Chanyeol blabbers about work.

Baekhyun almost feels guilty about the lack of enthusiasm he had at first, but deep down, he knows he shouldn't feel bad because it's _Chanyeol_. Chanyeol, who probably sucked a few dicks to get to where he is now. Chanyeol, who has a habit of, unknowingly or otherwise, rubbing his accomplishments on Baekhyun's face, because Baekhyun is just a music teacher during the weekends. Then again, he's human too, and the thing really is that he's jealous of Chanyeol.

He envies how charismatic Chanyeol is, how well spoken he is. He's so wonderful in all ways Baekhyun can think of and Baekhyun is just Baekhyun.

Sometimes, their feet would knock against each other, and other times - one time Baekhyun got brave, he dared to deliberately move a naughty foot up Chanyeol's knees and in-between his thighs, pressing gently on his crotch while closely enjoying the look on Chanyeol's face and the way his eyes glimmered like a hundred thousand stars - even brighter -, just before his face would crumple up in a satisfied mess.

At some point, Chanyeol drags Baekhyun to the men's washroom that had copper gold and glass all over. They fuck like this, with Baekhyun pressed hard against the cubicle door. He's a little bit tipsy as he nibbles on Chanyeols ear, making him giggle, but it's soon followed by a low groan. After a while of touching about almost like dumb kids _in love_ , Baekhyun's white shirt finally gets unbuttoned, his neatly pressed black slacks get undone, and a pair of red lips hovers above his. Familiar hands wander about, massaging Baekhyun's supple thighs before Chanyeol fucks him, slicked up and well prepared, as his mouth opens up in loud, breathy groans that bounces on the air between them and back up at Baekhyun. Mockingly.

Chanyeol helps them clean up while pampering Baekhyun with small kisses that has him going weak. They both know Baekhyun has jittery legs, so Chanyeol helps Baekhyun walk out the restaurant, not before paying the bill with an unnecessarily big amount of tip.

When they're out in the chilly air, Chanyeol hoists Baekhyun up on his back just because.

Baekhyun wraps his arms around Chanyeol's neck and locks his legs around Chanyeol's torso. It's all so endearing, all too unfamiliar but at the same time, too familiar that he feels nostalgic. Baekhyun softly cries on Chanyeol's shoulder as he carries him to the car.

Chanyeol helps him buckle up the seat belt and turns on some music before starting the car. As they zoom across the horizons with some lovely Elvis song filling up the air around them and Baekhyun's lungs, Chanyeol gently squeezes his thigh where he has his hands on. If he notices Baekhyun crying, he doesn't say a word.

Baekhyun falls asleep soon after, and so, in essence, misses the way Chanyeol stops the car in front of their house and sits in silence, wordlessly watching Baekhyun sleep peacefully for minutes.

Baekhyun misses the look on Chanyeol's face as he appreciates the way Baekhyun looks with his cheeks red and pink lips pushed in a small pout.

He misses the way Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, right through his misery and hatred for the world, thinking that Baekhyun is the most fucked-up shit to ever exist in Chanyeol's beautiful world.

When Baekhyun wakes up, he's comfortable on his side of their bed. He's wearing Chanyeol's old Marvel shirt and no shorts. Said man is next to him, scrolling through something on his phone. Sunlight is streaming through their white, thin curtains; sunlight is radiating off Chanyeol's glowing skin. Humming, Baekhyun falls back to sleep once again as Chanyeol strokes his hair as though he were a sleepy puppy.

 

 

 

 

 

  **scene 05**

 _sometimes we talk all night long, we don't shut up_  
_and when it's late we'll say we're still wide awake so_

Memories of his college days sometimes came in Baekhyun's mind like a strip of old film. Other times, he's reminded of these days in the form of people or similar events.

Truth be told, he has no idea where some of his classmates are right now. He had tried to keep up with his best friends, Kim Jongdae and Kim Junmyeon, until they'd moved to Egypt for a long research. Afterwards, he chatted and sometimes went out a few times to catch up with Seulgi and her boyfriend Kim Jongin. They stopped though, after a while when the couple broke up on bad terms. Baekhyun doesn't know the details; he just knows it became very messy. After that, he just doesn't have time for friends. Saves him energy to deal with Chanyeol's shit.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, has many friends. They come over a lot for men's night in, when all they would do is watch football on ESPN while emptying all the six-packs they have in their fridge. During these times, Baekhyun would stay locked up in his room, trying to drown out the noise of people shouting and Chanyeol laughing that obnoxious, loud laugh he never grew out of.

Chanyeol knowing too many people turns out to be a nightmare for Baekhyun. Before he knows it, one morning, a certain Oh Sehun, their ex-boyfriend from university, shows up in a red Mustang to pick Chanyeol up for work. 

 

 

 

 

 

**scene 06**

_we love to talk about how you'll come up to visit me_  
_and we'll rent a car & we'll drive upstate_

Later that night, Chanyeol hastily explains that Sehun is the new Human Resources Manager at the firm Chanyeol works at. They argue the whole night; Baekhyun demanding Chanyeol to stop even _being_ around Sehun, and Chanyeol punching Baekhyun right across his face, leaving a bright red print on his already reddened cheeks.

Chanyeol leaves and doesn't come back until the following night, while Baekhyun cries on the sheets, draining out all the emotion he's got left in him.

 

 

 

 

 

**scene 07**

_it's affection always,_  
_you're gonna see it someday_

Baekhyun never liked to visit Chanyeol at his office. Some people get too handsy with him, some girls play with his hair, his fingers, pick at his shirt's collar, asking him too much personal questions while Chanyeol would just stand by and watch. He doesn't care that Baekhyun must be uncomfortable, doesn't care when Baekhyun obviously looks like he doesn't want all this attention on him.

Baekhyun now wishes with all he's ever had that he's never gone to Chanyeol's office to deliver some documents he'd left on the dining table. He wishes he's never even had _eyes_ to see what had been in front of him.

Sure, he somewhat has an idea about Chanyeol's cheating tendancies, but what he doesn't expect - or rather, what he had always expected to have happened, but never for him to _witness_ it with his own eyes - is Sehun bent in half over the desk with Chanyeol pressed behind him.

The same desk that had framed photographs of Baekhyun and Chanyeol at their trip to Italy for their 5th official anniversary; a Polaroid Baekhyun had snapped of Chanyeol in his first office suit, standing next to a mailbox under the bright afternoon sun, smiling most ridiculously; several photos of Baekhyun smiling, Baekhyun failing at the attempt to hide his face behind his small hands, Baekhyun laughing with his pretty mouth wide open and eyes crinkling, a pink cotton candy in one hand, and his whole life laid out like cards on the other.

There's a difference between hearing about it or knowing about it to _seeing_ it in front of him.

Especially when Chanyeol looks up at him, just like he had several years back, with all of them in this same situation, but under different circumstances. Just like he'd known all along that Baekhyun had been standing there with his jaw slacked, shoulders trembling like he's holding a weight of five hundred regrets - and he is. He's holding on to old, washed out memories of all the good times he's spent with Chanyeol.

But as it happens, they perfectly imbalance with all the good, and he finds himself clutching at his heart and scrambling out the huge building before he crouches down and empties his sick stomach onto the road. With it goes away any and all the love, and even an _ounce_ of respect he had for Chanyeol. With it goes all the hope he's left for Chanyeol to become a better man for Baekhyun, for himself.

Baekhyun is empty, empty, empty.

 

 

 

 

 

**scene 08**

_my attention for you_  
_even if it's not what you need_

There are circles in all hues of black and grey beneath Baekhyun's eyes. He hasn't eaten much, hasn't showered in days, hasn't had the energy to even _think_ anything in his stupid brain, let alone do anything else. His cheeks have sunken and are no longer the pretty pink it once was merely a few days ago. His fingers shake as they reach for the bed covers that he pulls further up.

Chanyeol, the coward, hasn't been home for a week now. He's not here physically, but it's as though he _still_ has this control over Baekhyun, because Chanyeol is a disgusting piece of dog shit but Baekhyun cannot _breathe_ without him. He can't _exist_ without Chanyeol next to him even for a couple of days, without Chanyeol's artificial words comforting him for a short span of time, without Chanyeol to hold him close and whisper to him nothing but sour, bitter lies like a song, a chant - a magical mantra, and Baekhyun, being as stupid as he is, would hum along to the tune as though he were a trained puppet.

When it comes to Chanyeol, he's constantly in a china shop and he's twirling around, dancing, spinning round and round in irregular circles until his head spun along with his body like tires on an old car, and then faster still like spilled marbles on the wooden floor, and he's so _close_ , so close, close, close, and then he stops.

Baekhyun finally drags himself up for a shower and then dresses up in a fresh pair of blue jeans and an oversized matching blue shirt. It's only after he'd worn it that he realizes that the shirt belonged to Chanyeol, but now he's too tired to change so he can't bring himself to care. He packs a bag with some clothes and stuffs his phone in one pocket, his wallet in the other.

He slings the bag on his left shoulder and without a second glance, does one thing he's thought about millions of times before, but has never dared to actually do: forever leave the home he's lived with Chanyeol for five whole years.

 

 

 

 

 

**scene 08: EPILOGUE**

_i think of you,_  
_i want you too,_  
_i'd fall for you_

Chanyeol falls in love with Baekhyun everyday, or so he thinks. It's hard not to love Baekhyun, with all the little things he does for Chanyeol, all the sacrifices he's made, all the lies he's said just to be with him a little longer. It's not surprising, but Chanyeol is attracted to lies like magnet to magnet, and Baekhyun is the embodiment of words laced with lies, but even so, still second to Chanyeol.

The only difference - or perhaps the similarity - is that Chanyeol lies to Baekhyun, and Baekhyun lies to _himself_.

However, that said, Chanyeol still finds himself unsatisfied at home, still finds himself getting angry at every thing Baekhyun does, every word he says. It seems as though he does these things on purpose just to test Chanyeol's anger, to test the love Chanyeol should have for Baekhyun. That's what Baekhyun is. Always so suspicious, always so curious.

Always scared he might lose Chanyeol.

 _It's funny_ , Chanyeol thinks, because Baekhyun is not smart enough to realize he's never actually had Chanyeol in the first place, and you can't lose what you don't have.

Chanyeol seeks enjoyment in the way Baekhyun acts under total humiliation. Whether it's through the way Chanyeol constricts Baekhyun's cock with a pretty pearl ring, restricting him any way of coming, while at the same time stimulating his nipples and already spent and well used asshole with a glass vibrator. He'd be kept in this state for hours while he would beg for Chanyeol to fuck him so hard that he knows nothing except how good Chanyeol is to him.

It's a beautiful look on Baekhyun. Chanyeol's favourite, to be honest. The wrecked, helpless look of a fish caught in a net, a feeble man caught in the grip of Chanyeol's unwieldy hold.

He likes the way Baekhyun would ridiculously fall into pieces just like that, thrashing about, groaning with his cracked voice loud and unclear, weak hands flailing around - useless.

And so, Chanyeol liked the way Baekhyun looked when he'd caught him fucking Oh Sehun, Baekhyun's boyfriend from college, the boy Chanyeol first fucked, all these years back, just to get Baekhyun's attention. It's ridiculous, and a cheap, pathetic move, but it worked. It worked because Baekhyun, himself, was - still is - cheap and so very pathetic.

It turned out well.

Chanyeol crashes at a friend's house the following week because he may like to hurt Baekhyun, he may find a sick sort of pleasure in emotionally torturing Baekhyun, but he's a weak man. A coward, in the end. Just like Baekhyun had always called him.

All this while, he'd hoped Baekhyun would come running back to him, but it's hard to say because reading Baekhyun's emotions is as difficult as attempting to sew back a life that has already fallen apart. Even impossible, in some cases. That, or Chanyeol just doesn't try that much to understand what was going through his Baekhyun's pretty head.

But in the end, he receives nothing from Baekhyun. Almost in a panic, Chanyeol gets in his car and furiously drives over to his home after a total of six, almost seven, days. Chanyeol always ends up pathetically coming back again, only reminding himself just how weak he has always been. Still is.

Much to his disbelief, there is not one sign of Baekhyun in the house, and Chanyeol's mind spins in round, endless circles when the thought of Baekhyun leaving forever hits him. He's going dizzy, his stomach threatening to throw up all its contents on the wooden floor.

In their bedroom they had fucked each other senseless for more than a hundred times, sometimes with Baekhyun beneath him, looking up at him with his long lashes fluttering. Other times, Baekhyun was on top of him, moving his hips to mute tunes they can hear only in their heads.

Against that wall, Chanyeol had been pressed up by Baekhyun, hands running flat down his stomach and playfully nearing the waistband of his shorts.

In that kitchen, Chanyeol had taught Baekhyun how to make the Chanyeol Special Pasta, _with the secret ingredient of love_ , he'd said as he crowded Baekhyun near the counter and intertwined their fingers together. Much like completing a puzzle. Only, the puzzle was better left incomplete than hastily completed with the wrong pieces that just did not seem to fit right.

On that sofa, Baekhyun had watched Chanyeol sleep peacefully until his coffee went cold, until his heart grew warmer as the night became darker.

In his world, Baekhyun was everything for him. Not everything he _needed_ , not everything perfect, but just _something_ for him.

Chanyeol is empty, empty, empty.

He calls up Baekhyun countless of times. It rings and falls back into voicemail.

_Hi, it's Baekhyun. I'm probably busy, catch me after the beep. Bye!_

Beep.

Dial.

 _Hi, it's Baekhyun. I'm probably busy, catch me after the beep. Bye_!

Beep.

Dial.

_Hi, it's Baekhyun. I'm probably busy, catch me after the beep. Bye!_

Beep.

Dial.

_Hi, it's Baekhyun. I'm probably -_

" _Chanyeol?"_

 

 

 

 

 

**scene 9.1**

_i think of you,_  
_i want you too,_  
_i'd fall for you_

 _Stupid_.

Baekhyun is like that. When Chanyeol calls him a few times, he picks up because he's stupid. He tries not to cry into the phone or let any weakness translate into his voice, probably because he's smart but he's not. In the end, his voice cracks like wet bricks and shakes like an unstoppable earthquake.

_Stupid._

Baekhyun is like that. He lets Chanyeol console him, fully knowing Chanyeol probably doesn't mean all the things he's saying. He lets Chanyeol in onto his heart once again - so easily. Almost as though he's never been removed in the first place. Baekhyun is that stupid. He listens to all the empty promises Chanyeol makes, swearing on everything he owns, even pinky promising like a child. Baekhyun lets himself believe it even though he knows Chanyeol would rather have his pinky finger _amputated_ before he stayed true to his words and loved Baekhyun with all he's got.

Baekhyun is stupid, stupid, _stupid_. He finds himself driving back home just because Chanyeol begged him. Just because Chanyeol had said some meaningless words that probably won't matter the next morning. He's probably going to be the same after this too, probably going to fuck his way up the hierarchy at work and fuck his way through Baekhyun's heart.

 _It's funny_ , Baekhyun thinks as Chanyeol holds him against his chest that night, _because in the end, it always seem to work._

 

 

 

 

 

**scene 9.2**

_i think of you,_  
_i want you too,_  
_i'd fall for you_

This is one of those times Chanyeol just cannot believe how gullible Baekhyun can be. He worries for him sometimes. He trusts too easily, loves recklessly, and inhales the lies Chanyeol feeds him like oxygen and Baekhyun was a dying man with death at his fingertips.

One moment, Chanyeol has Baekhyun in his arms as he whispered how beautiful he looked with fresh tears drying on his face like ink on parchment.

Another, Chanyeol is leaving their bed to stand near the window, left hip jutted out, mouth formed into a wicked smile, a cigarette between his slender fingers.

Baekhyun has never been more in love, love, love.

 

 

 

 

 

**CLOSING SCENE**

_it's affection always,_  
_it's affection always_ **.**  

**Author's Note:**

>  **title inspired by:** _sweet lies -_ exo **lyrics in-between:** _affection -_ cigarettes after sex
> 
> u guys are giving me so much love through comments;;;; thank u so much & catch u sometime soon!! ♡♡♡
> 
> [lets be friends on twt: sezkdl](https://twitter.com/sezkdl) • [bookmarks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamerikai/bookmarks)


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